"Hi. I'm Matt." *

(wearing dress pants, a white button up, a crisp bow tie topped off with a gigantic blonde afro)

"I'm excited to go to KJH with you and that's why I'm running for 7th grade officer.  Being a student officer means I'll take care of things SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

Worried you might forget your locker combination?

I'll remember it for you, so you don't have to.

Nothing's worse than running out of toilet paper.

I'll make sure the bathrooms are fully stocked, so you don't have to.

I'll get up early, so you don't have to.

I'll get lost on the first day of school, so you don't have to.

I'll update the marquis, so you don't have to.

I'll do background checks on the lunch ladies, so you don't have to.

I'll make sure the assemblies are AWESOME, so you don't have to.

I'll stay after and clean up, so you don't have to.

I'll shower and brush my teeth everyday, so you don't have to.

MATT ROSS!

VOTE FOR THE FRO!"  (arms raised, exit left)

He was in, he was out.
He was brilliant.

the votes are in,
just waiting for the results-

*He lost.  My broken heart is only an extension of his own.
"Maybe Rosses just aren't meant to be in student government," 
my oldest says to me later.

Oh, baloney.