it's THE (thee) day

The last day of swim lessons.

The day their teacher promised 

they could go off the "real" diving board.

There's a lot of thought that precedes such a venturesome move - 

The experience of swim class never leaves a person:  The deafening sounds at the pool drowned out only by the silence found in the deep turquoise water.  The chlorination that cleans your sinuses and burns your eyes from the inside out.  Pruned fingers and toes, fatigued muscles, sun kissed shoulders.  Silky winter hair turned ever so slowly to straw.  The teacher that makes you practice your kicks on the wall until you think your legs may possibly fall off. The heat of the pavement.  That crazily insatiable appetite when you get home . . . 

and after all this we make up some wacky move -
 a mix between the breathe stroke and "monkey, airplane, soldier"
to navigate the municipal pools of life.

Hey.
It's all good

just as long as your head's above water,
right?

Dear Nana,

You would have loved today.  Everyone was there all clean faced and dressed up.  Your grandsons looked amazingly handsome in their suits and ties and white rosebud boutonnieres.  Your granddaughters were glowing and beautiful, no small feat after dressing 20 great grandchildren in their Sunday best and getting them out the door early on a summer morning!  You would have enjoyed all the hugging and reminiscing mixed with ripples of laughter and happy chatter.  And you would have been so, so proud of Grandpa.  He was strong and sweet and found the strength to make it through the entire day, a big day to endure alone after having you by his side for 70 years.  

Nana, what I wouldn't give to sit across the table from you one more time.  To work on solving the world's problems while eating cantaloupe and cookies and listening to the kids laughter drifting through the back window as grandpa pushes them in the swing.  I'd ask you about your great neighbors and good friend Jewel.  You'd ask me about each one of the children and listen patiently to all of my worries and concerns.  You're such a good listener Nana.  And then the afternoon would turn into evening and we'd pick tomatoes from the backyard and enjoy BLTs together while we sit on the outside bench and watch the children riding bikes up and down the sidewalk.  Daylight would begin to fade and as we'd prepare to leave you'd cradle my face in your hands as you have so often and tell me that I was meant to be yours.  

I was meant to be yours.  Truly a granddaughter couldn't love a grandmother any more than I love you.  

I miss you,

Warning:

the following post is extremely one sided

Two teeth.
That's all he needs pulled per his orthodontist
who is wonderful by the way -
because he sees the whole picture.
The first time I took Nick to see him
he said that we'd want to avoid doing two phases of braces
because he deduced that Nick was in speech therapy
and felt appliances would hinder his progress.
An orthodontist that's worried about speech therapy.
Love him.

So instead of a mouth full of braces he has to get 2 teeth pulled.
I set the appointment with our new dentist
and took him in today.
Nick was worried.
Nick didn't want to lay back in the chair.
The hygienist let me work my "desperate mother magic"
until the dentist popped his head in.
Nick wasn't ready.
I looked my son in the eyes and did what any good mother does,
I made promises.
By the time the dentist came back Nick was in position
and while still a bit concerned he was ready to go.

The dentist tapped the two teeth with the back of his mirror
and then called me out.
"I think it will be too traumatic for him.  He's already so tense and I'm not sure he'll be able to lie still.  You should consider sedation."
Traumatic?
TRAUMATIC?

This is what's traumatic:  Begging your son for 30 minutes to comply.  Promising him a lego set, a milkshake and unlimited computer time for the day until he agrees.  And once he agrees his mind is made up.  And then the dentist changes his mind.  Your son starts crying and says that he wants it done.  "I want to do it.  I want to do it!"  He stands in front of the building sobbing,  "I want to do it!  I want to do it!"  Because that's autism. And autism isn't known for it's flexibility.  Especially when it's made up it's mind to do something hard for the afore mentioned rewards.

I wish the dentist would have trusted me.  I wish he would have believed me when I said Nick was ready and that he would be still.  Because Nick would have been.  Still as a stone.  Because autism can be still when it wants to be.  He's had teeth pulled elsewhere and did magnificently.

Instead Nick cried all the way home.  Broken hearted alligator tears.  He couldn't understand what had just happened.  "I want to do it."
  

I can't expect the world to understand Nick
when I don't always understand him myself
but a mother knows her son.
He could have done it.

 :(

Amen to this -

"Cleaning with kids in the house 

is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos"

It's true.

I've attempted both.

hap·py/ˈhapē/

Adjective:

Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with (a person, arrangement, or situation).

The sky was alive as the stars twinkled in the magic of their surroundings.  We threw our arms in the air as if to touch them as the chilled wind whipped at our faces, the initial thrill never ceasing as our family rode it again. and again. and again.

Holding hands so as not to lose each other we wound our way through the crowds to the end of main street where we settled in next to grammy and grandpa just as the sky exploded into color.  With fireworks bursting over head and children snuggled into my side I thought that perhaps this was indeed as happy a place as I'd ever been.  No computers, no to-do lists, no distractions.   Only each other.

Momentary heaven.

We have to see for ourselves

if it really is the happiest place on earth.
Be back to report our findings next week.

These two are unstoppable:

imagine organizing a celebrity golf tournament for 12 months with your best friend and then spending the big day together with family, friends & celebrities working side by side all for the sole purpose of finding a cure for Cystic Fibrosis.  Another $100,000 raised.

 

They never cease to amaze me.

Allie Cat n Boots

this girl has a pair of boots that keep showing up 

like heartburn after spicy italian

Goodbye Elementary

Hello Junior High