Denial

a comfortable place. I settle into it not because it's easy, quite the contrary in fact, but I choose it as a means of survival.

His teacher sent home the requested homework for next week. We situated ourselves in front of the computer, ready to take on the animal report. He had to answer a handful of questions about a cottontail rabbit's habitat, life span, food supply. Progress was slow and labored. The final result looked like our 5 year old had intervened. The fatigue of night allowed me to remember our older son working on the same report when he was in 2nd grade. He had booted up the computer, researched his animal and been out the door to play before I could even offer an after school snack. My stomach began to knot and my chest turned into a hollow chamber. It took a long nights sleep for denial to once again wrap me in it's safety.

In just a few days he'll be digging his toes into the sand while the sun kisses his hair and the water licks his skin. For a moment he'll be normal

and denial will be left here at home, patiently awaiting our return.