Waiting for Phil Mickelson's signature

Conversation with a girl pancaked against me:

"Where are you from?"

"New York. But I'm stationed here in Massachusetts.

What about you?"

(spoken in thick east coast accent)

"I'm from Utah."

"Oh, that's a dry state."

(unsavory facial expression)

"It's a VERY dry state."

(big emphasis on very)

"I've broken the dry rules today."

(slurred)

Wait, I think I was confused.

Can we go back to the beginning of this conversation?

30 minutes into another conversation

with an engaging, silver haired, gentleman:

"Do you have the golf channel?"

"No, we don't watch TV."

"At all?"

"Not at all."

"Are you Mormon?"

"Yes. But mormons do watch television."

"You're so . . . wholesome. Like Donny and Marie."

sticking out like a sore thumb,