Why is it

when you wake in the middle of the night

your mind moves faster than it has all day

until it's spinning out of control

with all of your inadequacies

and mistakes

and responsibilities

and your mental to-do list grows unnaturally long

as you think of all of the things you need to get done

and each one feels so life-threateningly urgent

causing your breathing to become rapid and shallow

throwing you into a physical state of panic?

And isn't it funny that if you're lucky enough to force yourself back into a fitful sleep you wake up with only a foggy recollection of that mile long list?

today's to-do list:

play with children

I'm sure I'll remember the rest at 4:00 a.m. tomorrow,