the good:
snow. finally. it's cool chill warmed our barren souls as the cold flakes wet our parched lips. we soaked it up like manna from heaven. and heaven it was.
the bad:
there is a sadness that hangs over me this morning. i cannot place the aching in the pit of my stomach. until i slow down. and remember. the screaming. the crying. for hours. our boy is struggling. angry autism is back and my sorrow finds place in the quiet of a monday. just me. and an empty house. a rare moment to let go of the brave face. brief but necessary.
and then it's back to the business of being mom.
5 comments:
oh jodi. i wish i could just give you a great big hug. he is so blessed to have you as his mom...and you are truly blessed to have him as your son. you have a perspective and lessons learned in life that many fail to gain in this world. blessings. oh, and tears are ok they water the soul.
Oh, I am so sorry you are dealing with angry autism. My son had and is still having a hard time transitioning back to school. I mentioned it in my blog here:
http://controllingcraziness.blogspot.com/2012/01/trying-to-get-back-to-our-normal.html
We, including the school, are almost out of ideas. How do you get a kid to go to class when rewards and consequences don't work. Good luck to you, I feel for you.
That's tough. So sorry. Hugs from Georgia!! xoxo
I don't know what it is like to deal with autism, especially angry autism. But I do know what it is like to deal with Nick.... Heavenly. I taught him at church on Sunday, and he was PURE JOY. I miss seeing him often like I used to. I miss his smiling face and I did notice that as he is growing up he is not so "into" hugs as he once was. But he offered to say the closing prayer and he was reverent and he helped bring the spirit into the classroom. He laughed and was his usually happy self with me. I know that with any child it is different when you are the mom. You are often the enemy, the source of frustration, the sorrow. Just know that I love you. I love Nick. He shines from within.... even during the angry autism moments... and that is because of the mom he has.
If I had known...I would have bought two tickets cause I was a leavin' on a jet plane (say it to the tune)...and then I got a grip. We will survive the ups and downs of mortality! Love you! brenda
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