that means I'm not seeing my sister and her family that just got in from Boston. it means no friends at 10:00. no helping the 4th graders with math at 11:00. no lunch with Nick. no visiting-teaching Lori at 3:30. or Kate at 4:30.
I settled her into her room and gave her a bell (a cowbell from the 2002 winter olympics - the only thing I could find) so that she could summon me at will. She has rung it twice for upset tummy and once for toast. She is an easy patient.
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I met up with a friend at a party the other night. She is an artist that has recently retired from teaching. She was telling me about a few of her most recent escapades with fellow artists. They endure all sorts of crazy weather together while painting Utah landscapes and she travels to desirable places on cruise ships that have hired her to teach art classes. She is flowery and intellectual and interesting. She had just finished telling me about her most recent outing when she asked me what I've been doing.
"I don't know." I said. "I don't know where the times goes and I'm not sure what I've been doing with it." And that's the truth of it. I never know what to say when people ask that question. I know that they are being kind in their inquiry it's just that I don't have anything flowery, interesting or intellectual to say. I'm not pursuing a talent. I'm not in the middle of an interesting book. I'm not watching the news or working out at the gym.
I'm trying to keep four sprouting children in clothes that fit them. I'm working to keep the fruit in the fruit bowl and food in the fridge. It seems while I'm unloading a van full of groceries I'm remembering all the things I've forgotten, like bleach and spicy mustard, and I'm already planning my next trip back to the store. I'm forever cleaning a house that never stays clean and ironing shirts that never stay ironed. I scrub our eternally muddy dog and scoop up his messes from the backyard. I empty garbage cans and write thank you notes. I help with homework and merit badges and school projects. I volunteer in kids classes and take them on lunch dates.
So I guess I do know what it is I've been doing. It may not make for the most interesting of topics at a party but that's alright for now.
If you'll excuse me,
I believe I hear a cowbell ringing.
4 comments:
Thank you for writing and sharing. You put into words things that I feel as a mother of 5.
I do so enjoy this blog of yours...
Aw, poor thing! I hope she feels better. You do so much, and just because it isn't extravagant doesn't mean it isn't important and worthwhile. Love ya!
I hope she is feeling better tonight. She's in my thoughts. I will add to your list of wonderful things you do, but don't know it... you serve others and you do it freely and without wanting anything in return. That is a true gift.
Dear Jodi.....this a thank-you for the thank-you!!! You are a doll. It was so funny the day of your birthday because our contractor of the day....would that be contractor de jour? Anyway, I digress! He introduced himself to me as just Chad. We visited for a while....I went downstairs to see how the work was progressing and he said to me, "Can I ask you why you have a picture of Jodi Meese on your shelf?" (I had found it just days before the flood and stuck it up on the shelf...it was a picture of us on your wedding day) So of course I had to ask how he knew you....he said he went to school with you. Always thought you were so beautiful.... His name...Chad Banister! So, I told him about you turning 40. And that I had sent you your pin. I noticed later that he mentioned it on a facebook post for your BD. It is a small world after all. You are still 16 in my mind and I am always amazed when I see pictures of your kids!! You have grown into an amazing woman....I am in awe of all you do....You are leaving your mark on the world in so many ways.
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