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I took Nick to some specialists today

because he didn't pass the school administered hearing test.

The audiologist asked me if he has cerebral palsy.

An easy mistake to make as you watch him struggle to walk.

No ma'am, he doesn't have cerebral palsy

he's just regressing physically. 

There's a story in the news of a couple 

who refused medical help for their sick child.

They tried to heal him with their faith

but he died.

I'm not one of those people.  

I want medical help.  

I trust the medical world.

But the medical world doesn't know what's wrong

with our Nick.

I keep asking

but no one has an answer.

After seeing the audiologist we saw the ENT.

"Did he have an inter-uterine stroke?" he asks.

I know he thinks I should have the answer.

I'm the mom.

I'm the mom.

I should have the answers

but I don't.

The news at the end of the day:

he can't hear well in lower frequencies 

but he has super powers when it comes to high frequency sounds.

That means hearing aids would be a nightmare for him.

There's really nothing they can do to help him.

We'll return in a year to find out if he's lost more of his hearing.

and the left side of his soft palate didn't develop properly

but the doctor doesn't know why.

"So what you're saying is Nick is just Nick?" I asked as I gathered our belongings.

I know he wanted to give me a different answer just as badly as I wanted one

instead he reached out a worn hand and shook my tired hand goodbye.