This isn't about parenting

Why do people judge?
Why do I judge?
You know what?  I think it's out of fear.

I can remember back to the day my first born arrived into this world.  How he was placed snuggly in my arms along with a "new mom starter kit" from the hospital.  It was full of all sorts of reading materials to which I quickly subscribed:

American Baby
Parenting
Parent & Child
Parents
Family Fun

They were chock full of do's and don'ts.  The latest trends.  The latest medical studies.  The latest, the latest, the latest!  And it took me all of two seconds to figure out that experts, more often than not, contradict one another.  What's a new mother to do?  Insecure in my new parenting I searched more hungrily for answers.  Do I put him to sleep on his side, his back or hanging from his toes?  Oh wait, this study says I should let him sleep in our bed with us.  Until he's 20.  And that study says I should let him cry it out.  Until he's 12 or until one of us loses our mind.  Whichever comes first. Clearly, the most trusted of periodicals did not hold the answers for me and my family.

So I did what any self respecting nursing mother in a postpartum sleepless haze would do.  I began watching other mothers.  Closely.  When I saw things that felt right, I would implement them in my own parenting.  When I observed things that seemed wrong I steered clear.

This is not wherein the problem lies.

The problem comes when I have made the best decision I know how to make for my family and then I observe a trusted mother doing the opposite.  "Wait a minute.  We can't BOTH be right.  If she's doing that and I'm doing this then one of our children isn't going to turn out well.  What if I've been doing it wrong all this time?  What if I've done irreparable damage to my child?  What if, what if, what if?"  And this is the point where it becomes easier to decide that the other person is wrong.  Frankly it would be too devastating to believe my child is going to have an attachment disorder because I didn't buy into "the family bed" theory.  My judgement in this case is fear driven.  It has nothing to do with the other mother, only to do with my own insecurities.  And yet she is the one that receives the brunt of my judgement.

Now forget the example of parenting I've used here

and plug in a situation of your own,
a place you find yourself judging others.

What do you think?

Does fear = judgement?

My new goal:
get rid of fear.