That's what she said

Where I would say "Jerk"

she would say "Pill"

What I would call "Nosey"

she would call "Sticky Beak"

I would say I'm "Mad at my kids"

she would say I'm "Sad at my kids"

When I say "Crap"

she says "Rats and Frazzles"

Thank heavens one of us is bringing some class to this friendship!