Early in our marriage my mother-in-law bought us the best/worst gift I've ever received, "The Merk Manual of Medical Information." She and I share the wonderfully dysfunctional ability of talking ourselves into worst case scenario when it comes to medical ailments. Being armed with my own medical manual before the internet was readily available was hazardous. Blurry vision equaled retinal detachment, painful swallowing - a Retropharyngeal Abscess, a red spot was surely Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis.
We had been in Maui for two days when I found the lump. A woman doesn't need a medical manual to know a lump isn't good. My thoughts swirled wildly until I picked up the phone and called my mom the next morning. She encouraged me to forget about it for the time being and to enjoy the rest of the trip. And then she said something that changed my way of thinking. She said "Don't buy it before you need it." Not only had I been buying it before I've needed it, I've been stockpiling! So I did it. I laid it down and peacefully enjoyed the rest of the trip.
Fast forward to today: I don't have one lump, I have two. The doctor found the other one. Following an ultrasound with a tightlipped, pokerfaced technician I made my way in for a mammogram. There I was met by a round, jolly woman who happily exclaimed "Looks like good news for you!"
"You mean from in there?" I said pointing to the ultrasound room.
As I walked out to my car the clouds parted and a ray of sunshine made its way through causing the newly fallen snow to sparkle like a million freshly cut diamonds.
I was happy I hadn't bought it.
Turns out I didn't need it.
4 comments:
Been there done that wish it would have been that simple for me. Glad to here all is well. Not something you like to hear anyone has gone through! Miss you and hope all else is well with your family!
Yeah. I have been thinking about you. I am glad that you liked the dr I suggested. I am soo glad that thinks are okay. You are always in my prayers.
love you
Glad you are well, and thanks for sharing such good advice!
An Atticus Finch line from To Kill a Mockingbird always comes to my mind during moments like that.
It is a simple phrase.
"It's not time to worry yet."
I'm not completely sure why it has stayed with me for so long. I don't know if it's the words or the wisdom behind the them that calm me so much. But I agree it's so important to have them to bring you back to the ground when life throws you a curve ball.
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