Once upon a Blue Moon

He noticed my involuntary shivers as we were getting ready for bed and he quietly disappeared as I began brushing my teeth. Just as I had pulled on a pair of socks and climbed under the comforter he reappeared, arms full of cozy rice bag warmers. He tucked them in beside me and then climbed under the covers himself.

"Tomorrow is a blue moon," he said as he gazed out the window. "Do you know what a blue moon is?"

Of course I didn't. I had decided early on in marriage to leave all scientific facts and information up to my sweetheart.

"When there are two full moons in a month the second one is called a blue moon. A blue moon only happens once every two years. A blue moon on New Years Eve is even more rare, happening every 20."

And then it dawned on me that men like him don't come along once in a blue moon. He is much, much more rare.

here's wishing you

a very magical blue moon

Yahtzee! I don't feel so good

The family gathers around the table for a hip happening game of Yahtzee

I feel a little hungry

I pull out the chips and salsa

delicious but so salty

I need something sweet

Oooh, mint chocolate Pirouettes

yummy, but now I've got to end on salty

I'll finish off that evil squeeze cheese and be done with it

too thick and unnatural

must get something sweet to counteract

I'll just slice off of smidge of homemade fudge

the sweetness is killing me

must get to the Dubliner Irish cheese . . .

I want to say it ended there

but I don't want to end 2009 on a big fat lie

tell me I'm not the only one who struggles with this sweet and salty dilemma

She loves to dance to his music

"don't grow up, don't grow up"

my mothers heart wills over and over

as I watch them in their magical world

of father and daughter

musician and prima ballerina

I don't know how I missed it

but Nick doesn't know how to button. I should have realized it one Sunday afternoon when I walked into his room to find his white dress shirt lying in a corner with every button ripped off, some with material still attached. It's like he had a little "hulk" moment in his attempt to free himself from the restrictive sabbath day attire.

I'm teaching him how to button today. He's not happy about it.

I ate half a piece of grapefruit and a banana. My body was happy with me. And then I ate a piece of bacon for good measure. It's still the holidays you know. And I'm going to need the extra protein for a rigorous day of buttoning.

I was a little envious of Brandon as he walked out the door for work this morning. For some reason the stock market seems more appealing than my holiday ravaged house. He promised to be back soon. I told him to save himself, to stay away.

Maybe I'll go exchange some gifts at Target. I'm sure it's much quieter there.

christmas eve testimonies reading

family prayer

christmas day receiving surprise

tears joy gratitude

a day we will talk about for years to come

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

"To be so long the center of a home, so much sought after, and then, almost suddenly to be on the sidelines watching the procession pass by - this is living into loneliness . . ." Elder Richard L. Evans

Our family took gifts to four of the over 2000 elderly shut-ins in the Salt Lake Valley. What a blessing it was to move out of our comfort zone as we belted a rousing song of Jingle Bells with "Edward" in his little apartment and laughed with "Minenettee" whose colorful personality was spilling out from beneath her do rag and dreadlocks.

Thank you for the wonderful idea John & Deb.

I'm thinking

about the fog that has settled around us

for the past three days

I'm thinking about grandpa at Saturday's Christmas party

and about Nana's quiet tears as she gave into her enmity

of alzheimers for a rare, brief moment

I'm thinking of Elder Nelson's conference talk that I read this morning

and I'm mulling over the long list of qualities needed

to receive the gift of spiritual discernment:

faith, hope, charity, love, an eye single to the glory of God,

virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience,

brotherly kindness, godliness, humility, diligence

my gift of discernment is a long way off

I'm thinking of our December calendar that says

"Lose Hope and KNOW"

I'm thinking I like that

I'm thinking of hot cocoa

and cinnamon rolls from good friends

and a lazy day with my children

and I'm thinking I like that too

"Jack and Sarah love each other the way we do."

"Almost," Brandon replies, "almost."

He reads my books so we can discuss them together.

He holds my hand and kisses it like it's a fragile gift

He tells me I'm beautiful at times I am far from it

He has put toothpaste on my toothbrush

for the past 15 years

He loves me better

than Captain Jack Elliot could ever love Sarah Agnes Prine.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart -

P.S. Brandon and I have been brewing up plans for a "wedding party." If your blessed day was full of regrettable wardrobe/decorating choices you'd be on the invite list. Only those with horrifically dated wedding attire and bad hairdo's will be allowed. We'll be watching sticky sweet wedding videos while digging into marzipan wedding cake . . . with a little cup of mints and mixed nuts on the side, of course.

white noise

Four forty and sleep eludes.

My busy thoughts are calmed by its comforting sound.

A distinct memory settles in, warming me from the inside out.

As a young girl I used to sit next to the heat register

the one near the sliding glass door in the kitchen

so I could be near the busyness of my mother

I would pull my nightgown over my legs

and secure it tightly beneath my toes

The heat would flow out

causing the material to expand like a hot air balloon

The air would turn disappointingly cool

as the furnace would prepare to shut off

I would sneak over to the thermostat

and turn it up a few notches

buying myself a little more time

to drift away

in my hot air balloon

The sound of the furnace

still takes me to a wonderful place

Dear Parents:

Your child recently participated in a state mandated hearing screening. Your student failed to respond at one or more the frequencies tested at 20 dBhl. You need to take your child for a complete audiological evaluation, as soon as possible.

If you have any questions or concerns, please call me.

Sincerely,

K.M., Speech Language Pathologist

So he has difficulty hearing at lower to mid range frequencies. Apparently that equals preferential seating in the class room . . . if a 2nd grader considers the front row preferential.

That's the cool thing about having a child with autism. This sort of information doesn't phase me. It's like our visit to the dentist two weeks ago when it was discovered that Nick is missing a permanent tooth in the front. "That stinks. Hmm. I wonder what we should have for dinner tonight . . ."

See? Hard to phase me. It's like God asked me if I wanted the bad news or the worst news first. I chose the worst news, Autism. Everything after that is small potatoes.

Now if you'll please excuse me, I've got to go find some wood to knock on -

Saturday in a nutshell

ward temple day

kitchen transformed into restaurant

turkey sausage and cheese omelette

smoke alarm

hired help walks out

sledding

snowball fights

snow forts

snowmen

hot chocolate

cheap pizza

salad

homemade bleu cheese dressing

"A Christmas Story"

popcorn

Christmas books

prayers

bed

Oh, and I

discovered

that my dog and I

have the same profile

The cardinal sin

He drew her to his side and asked the obligatory "and what do you want for Christmas?" The preschoolers and their parents fell silent as they listened for her answer. I know what she wants for Christmas. She had chosen it early on while pumpkins still adorned our porch and colorful leaves clung to the trees. She has actually dreamed of it from the time she was three, staring at the pictures as we would paint vivid pictures of own with each story. I sunk into my seat waiting to see how she would verbalize her wish.

"I want money."

I felt my face start to flush and yet I understood her perfectly. She was standing her ground, holding up her end of the bargain and I was proud of her.

I heard something about "raising pampered princesses" to the right of me. Parents were whispering and giggling as Santa tried to fix the seemingly selfish request but I kept my gaze on my brave little girl. She collected her candy cane and made her way back to her peers. I gave her the thumbs up when she glanced back at me.

Grandma and Grandpa visited Hawaii a few years back and fell madly in love with it. They bought a time share that we, as an extended family, get to enjoy every three years. Allie was too little the last time we traveled there so she had an extended vacation at her other grandparents home. She has waited with bated breath for this time to come. Unfortunately the recession and life happened and our children were given the choice of having Christmas or writing to Santa and asking him for money so we could make it to Hawaii. The choice was quick and unanimous . . . no Christmas, thank you.

So you go little girl. I'm proud of you for sacrificing Christmas for something you want even more. And I'm proud of you for doing it with a smile on your face.

"We need more family traditions," I sighed.

We were cozy in our pajamas, everyone warm in their favorite blankie as we drove the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights. "This is a tradition," my husband reminded me. Yes, yes it is I agreed. I listened as the littles counted lighted deer and the older ones gave out awards . . . "Most painful on the eyes," "Most likely to take away from the Christmas Spirit," "Largest variety of lights," "Most Festive." It was probably our 5th drive in the past 7 days and there would surely be many more before the season was over. A worthy tradition I decided as the dog cuddled into my side and the seat heater began to warm up. A worthy tradition indeed.

Last night was full of spontaneous Christmas spirit as Grandma and Grandpa joined us for pot roast, mashed potatoes and warm roles. After the dishes were done Grandma patiently taught the art of gingerbread making as the others gathered at the table to decorate boxes for the Food Bank. As the gingery aroma filled the air and laughter filled the room I was thankful for this perfect moment of gingerbread and family.

Maybe it's not so much about orchestrating life's moments

but more about living in the moment life has gifted us.

With lavender, jade and ashes, Andrea

That's how she signs her letters. I asked her once what it meant and she told me they are three things of great beauty to her. She is a thing of beauty to me.

We met three years ago in the waiting room of a psychologists office. Our children had been escorted into their appointments and we were left in a silent room of expired, colorless magazines. She extended a warm smile and I accepted the invitation by relocating to the seat next to her. She looked at home in that office, resigned to a world that I had just entered into. The conversation flowed easily, the time much too short for all that we had to say. The time is always too short when I'm with Andrea.

She is feminine, mild mannered, witty and charitable. She is generous in her assessments and slow to judge. She speaks slowly, each thought beautifully articulated and hopeful. Her strengths are my weaknesses and yet she finds the same measure of joy in our friendship as I do. Her presence in my life reminds me to breath more deeply and pause more often to take in the beauty around me.

I often think of how I would like to sign my name. It seems to change with each day.

What are your "lavender, jade and ashes?"

Dear Friend:

Remember that there are many here to lift you up,

to help you rise to the task at hand

when you feel too small

to do it on your own.

This was almost a brilliant post

I stirred at 4:55 this morning. My foggy mind produced a terrific idea for a post. The alarm went off at 5:45 and I tumbled out of bed, threw on a skirt and headed to the temple. It was there that another, more intriguing post came to me. And then, while I assembled breakfast burritos for my offspring, a third, most brilliant of all post ideas popped into my head.

Now that I have found time to sit down to the computer, all my thought provoking ideas seem to have left me . . .

it should have been so good.

By the way, I accidently bought 2% when I was in the dairy section the other day. It's so thick I feel like I need to scrape my tongue after I eat my breakfast cereal.

HOME

It is not perfect here

although it's perfect to me

familiar surroundings, sounds, smells

familiar spirit

Isn't it wonderful

how we all find comfort

in being home